For some inane reason, I felt the need to stop by the late night Harry Potter book party at Barnes & Noble on Friday night after work. Seeing as how I've only read the first four books, I had no real reason to be there other than pure gawking entertainment. Well, other than the fact that Josh & Karen had both volunteered for the night. Two seconds after leaving my vehicle, God granted me the idiocy I needed to get through the night. I locked my keys in my car. Again. And this time I didn't have the luxury of having a spare set tucked safely 35 miles away at home. After having tried calling the AAA mafia forty seven times, I finally gave up, realized that they did not "have my back" as I was so foolishly led to believe after reading the brochure, & cursed the recording that kept telling me, "I'm sorry, all our counselours are STILL (enunciated just like that) busy, PLEASE don't hang up."
So I hang up, & was set on riding home with Karen.
When we finally left (after all the good weirdos had packed up their capes & had their wands tucked safely into their waistbands), there just so happened to be a police car sitting out front. So I ceased the moment & asked the love child of Powder if he could help me out. Soon, Karen, Officer Powder Jr. & I were standing around my car having an awkward little conversation waiting on the wrecker who showed up soon after & extracted my keys. I was home by 3:30, ashamed by where I'd been, so had anyone been awake to ask, I probably would have told them that I was out drinking myself into a mushy stupor after having been detained for questioning when a meth run went awry. You know, other than admit to my family that I had been stewing in a pot of Harry Potter worshipers, half of whom were secretly working on their next incestuous Potter fanfic in the backs of their forty five year old pedophilic minds.